Dancing Between Dimensions
Consciously Jumping Timelines
Thoughts become emotions. Emotions become energy. Energy becomes a vibration, that vibration becomes a frequency — that frequency becomes a magnet, drawing to you more of what your vibration signals.
Believe good things; what you believe becomes.
I am the Magician in Reversed Position
Like an old car with a tired engine and an empty gas tank, my magick stuttered and puttered out. I wasn’t focused on what I wanted; I focused on what I’d lost. I had lost youth, family, financial security, and peace of mind. I was alone and miserable— and I knew that if I wanted to get where I was going, I had to sacrifice even more. I’d have to give up a job that I love, am proud of, and that provides everything I need, from good pay to health, vision, dental, and life insurance, as well as a 401K and paid time off.
Sacrifice. Loss. That’s where my focus was, pulling me into the dark abyss of depression. Helplessness. Victim mentality. I forgot that I have the power to create my own reality.
I’ve been writing lately about attuning to my magick again, and I can feel the energy revving. Tuesday is a full Harvest Moon, a partial lunar eclipse, and Sunday is the Equinox. Magic is in the air and I WILL be stirring that cauldron.
I am the 4 of Swords in Reversed Position
Sleep was so fitful that I had to ask my psychiatrist to increase my medications. Most nights, I’d lay awake rolling from side to side, kicking the blankets off, then pulling them back up. It’d be 3 or 4 a.m. before I’d drift into terrifying dreams. I’d wake up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all, but heavily burdened by the stress and anxiety that permeated my everything.
There’s a need to make a lot of money — and so many ways to do it. I have to get out of debt and save enough to make the move. I feel compelled to do all of it, which is overwhelming, so I’ve done none of it. I could write daily on Medium.com. I could produce one or two articles daily for Constant-Content. I do write freelance for a digital marketing company and go all-in when a new client’s content package comes in. I have a TikTok shop that has the potential to translate to cash, but only if I make 4 to 5 videos a day marketing products.
I already have a full time job at the bank.
I need to go to the gym. I want time to read books.
*Sigh*
My grandma used to sit and sew an item of clothing. She’d sew that piece of clothing by hand, usually taking up a hem, which shouldn’t take a terribly long time, but she’d do it all day. She’d stick that needle in, then pull it out, then talk about all the things she had to do that day. She had to do laundry (needle in, needle out). She had to do the budget (needle in, needle out). She needed to call people on the prayer chain at her church (needle in, needle out). She has to make her grocery list (needle in, needle out). I could see the tension take shape in her forehead and eyebrows. She’d spend all day talking about how overwhelmed she is by all the things she has to do, and never did anything but sew the hem on that one dress.
I Am the 10 of Cups, Upright
I have a vision of being with my family.
“Grandma, how much money do you have?”
“Why are you asking?”
“No, I mean, like how many dollars?”
“Do you need me to buy you something?”
“I mean, is it in the tens or the hundreds?”
“What do you need, Munchkin?”
“Are you ready to move here because I miss you.”
I’ve been practicing. At night, rather than being fitful and anxious, I make my mind travel to the future, where I can see myself standing in my new apartment. I look around, knowing I made it, overwhelmed with joy and relief. I know that my family is just literally a few apartments away in the same complex — my daughter’s family in one, my son’s family in the other. I see the sunlight coming in through the sliding glass door, and I stand there and cry happy tears. I say to myself, “I made it. I did it. Isn’t it wonderful?
And in both versions of reality, I cry feel good tears. In this version of reality, the Nebraska version, I allow myself to cry those same happy tears. I allow myself to fully feel the sense of relief and accomplishment of standing in the manifestation of my wishes and dreams. I cry those fulfilling tears, knowing that these thoughts become emotions, the emotions become energy, the energy becomes a vibration, the vibration becomes a frequency, and that frequency is bound by universal law to generate more of that frequency and echo it back to me.
See it. Visualize it. Keep it in mind’s eye — and it will have no choice but to become reality.
I am Wishing Carefully, In Reversed Position (A Faerie Oracle)
The idea of forfeiting my job security is terrifying. Instead of feeling what I’m losing, I need hope and excitement that what I’m finding is even better.
One issue that’s in my way is that I tell myself I’m unqualified or unworthy of getting better — that it was dumb luck that landed me where I am now, although I know deep down that’s not true.
When I started work at this bank, I had no idea anything at all about credit cards. Zero. Zilch. In fact, I was always in relationships where I wasn’t allowed to deal with finances at all. I never saw the bills. I was blind to the realm of money. But I walked (on crutches) into the bank’s corporate tower downtown two years ago, determined to succeed.
September 28th is my workaversary. In those two years, I have never been absent, never late, never left early. After one year, I was chosen — one of two people out of 500, to train new teams from other countries who would be joining our bank’s call center. Six months after that, I was promoted from consumer credit card to commercial and partner credit cards. I have learned this, and I have earned this, which means I can learn and earn something else.
I cannot lock myself into a certain idea of what my new job looks like. I can not restrict the universe to my limited ideas of how success should manifest. Maybe I’ll stay in banking, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll stay in a call center, maybe I’ll switch paths altogether. But here is what I am manifesting:
- Work from home (I’ll take any days/hours except for overnights)
- Feel proud of the work I do
- Respect the company I work for
- Full benefits: health, vision, dental, and life insurance as well as a 401K and paid time off
- A team I enjoy working with and a sense of camaraderie
- At least as much money as I’m currently making per hour, although I am open to receiving more.
- Opportunities for bonuses
- A place where I feel valued and accomplished
This is the frequency of what I’m wishing for in a job.
What I seek is seeking me. So mote this be.
I Am Honoring My True Feelings (Another Faerie Oracle Deck)
I can be magical and still be scared — as long as that fear does not translate to doubt.
I can feel tension over the finances, as long as I focus on making better choices with determination to alter the circumstance insteaf of feeling defeated.
I can miss my people without allowing that to become depression.
I can feel dissatisfied in my current living situation as long as I allow that to fuel change without becoming stagnant. My psychiatrist reminds me not to forfeit the life I’m in for the life I want. I have to keep finding ways to make my life fulfilling while I’m here. I think I’ll take a knitting class.
I shoud look into my feelings about romance. I’ve got that trauma response hyper-independence thing going on where I shudder if I think about sharing my life, in any capacity and on any level, romantically with another person. I see myself as unworthy, and I see them as villains set on hurting me before I even meet them.
My inner work has to focus on my sense of self-worth. I have to see the beauty in me at this stage in my life and understand that age is a mindset and beauty means different things to different people.
Beauty and self worth — that’s the frequency at which I choose to vibrate.
