Let There Be Light

Embracing Inherent Divinity

Photo by Bryan Goff on Unsplash

The trick is to believe good things are happening, even when bad things are happening — to trust in your magic even when it seems you’re being held down and drowned by life — to know that the Universe is conspiring to help you, even if that help comes through turbulence. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it is, no matter how dark the world seems, you must know that there is light. You might not see it from where you are, but you must know that it exists — and if it exists, you can find it again.

When I was ten, I had a horrible temper. It was bad, bad. At 52, I now recognize that as the onset of symptoms of bipolar disorder, but at that stage in life, my mom called it a lack of patience and told me I should pray about it. So I did.

Once I prayed about learning patience, everything in the world caused me to lose my patience. Everything was bad, challenging, uncomfortable. Trying. So, I asked the Sunday school teacher why God was giving me the opposite of what I was asking for and why he was punishing me. And, although I no longer believe in that form of religion, I do believe her answer rang true: How do you learn patience? By experiencing things that cause you to develop that trait.

How do you get strong and build muscle? You have to tear the muscle down so it rebuilds itself stronger.

What is prayer, anyway? In my mind, prayer is a frequency you send out into the Universe that boomerangs back to you, often with more force than you intended — for the positive or the negative. It’s the power of thinking.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I was five months pregnant when the doctors told me my son would not live. He had congenital cystic adenomatoid malformation of the lung. His left lung was all cysts and grew upwards, shoving his heart to the right side of his chest and crushing his right lung. The doctors recommended abortion. They explained that my life could also be at risk. I refused.

I remember going home from one of those difficult appointments where the doctors spoke horrid things out loud. I sat in my room, put my hand on my belly, and said, “You don’t need to listen to them, you know. They’re only humans, and humans can make mistakes. They don’t know what they don’t know. They are not superpowers (although I believe humans do have divinity in their beings); they are people. You don’t have to die if you don’t want to. You have permission to live if you’d like to. I will welcome you with love if you’d like to come have a human experience.

I could have lost myself in despair. I could have dove head first into a depression that could have potentially cost my child AND me our lives. I could have given in and given up and listened to the doctors and terminated that pregnancy. But instead, I BELIEVED in another possible outcome.

Against all odds, to the dismay of the doctors, my son was born with two perfectly healthy lungs and a beating heart that was perfectly placed— no cysts.

Photo by Osman Rana on Unsplash

There’s a story about a man in an ocean drowning. He prayed to his god to save him. Along comes a small boat and offers to pull the man in, but he says, “No thanks, I’m good. God is coming to get me.”

Then, another boat comes, but it’s bigger — a ship fully equipped to bring the man to shore. The man declines with the knowledge that he prayed to God, and that God will provide the way.

A few minutes later, a helicopter flies overhead and drops a basket for the man to climb into and be lifted to safety. The man waived off the helicopter, yelling, “Thanks, but God is coming to save me.”

Naturally, the man drowns. He gets to Heaven, faces God, and says (I’m paraphrasing), “Dude, WTF? You said if I prayed to you, you’d save me!”

God grinned his all-knowing smile and retorted, “Dude! WTF? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”

One of the problems I have with religion’s concept of prayer is the “Let go and let God” mentality. We are not supposed to let go and let God. We can ask God for support, for direction, for encouragement, for courage, for strength — but we still have to do the thing ourselves. God is not a genie in a bottle meant to grant our every wish.

Nor, do I believe, that God is separate and apart from us. I believe that each of us are a piece of divinity. If God is the ocean, we are the waves. We are the body of Christ. Literally. We are Christ embodied.

But that’s not to say I don’t believe in the power of prayer. I do. I absolutely do. But as I’ve said before, I view prayer as this:

Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash

A thought becomes an emotion. An emotion becomes energy. The energy has a vibration that is tuned to a specific frequency. That frequency is a magnet that draws that frequency back to you tenfold.

If you think, “I don’t have money,” or pray to God, “I am facing poverty, please give me money.” Then, you are sending out a message of lack. You are vibrating at a frequency that states to the Universe that you, in fact, do not have money, so the universe echoes back, “You do not have money.”

However, if you approach that “prayer” with gratitude, it looks more like this, “I am so grateful that the problem I have is already resolved. I am so grateful for what I have and for what I know is on its way to me. I am so grateful that I have the spirit of abundance and that I know I do not have to worry. I am safe. I have what I need and more.” Then, the frequency of the universe echoes back, “You have everything you need and plenty to be grateful for,” and that reality is the one that manifests for you.

That said, you still have to be conscious of what you’re doing. You still have to be responsible for how you manage your funds. You can still practice frugality along with gratitude for abundance. You may have to look for a better-paying job.

Someone once said to me that rich people are rich because they live like they’re poor and that poor people are poor because they spend like they’re rich.

I say all these things to myself. I remind myself that even though things may seem dark, I have seen the light before, so I know it exists — all I have to do is hold on a little longer, and while I’m holding on, be grateful for the light. Imagine myself surrounded by light. Feel the joy of the light, the warmth of it, basque in its glow, and when I send that frequency out to the Universe, it will echo back to me, “Let there be light.”

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Wendi Lady - It's a Wendiful World

Wendi deep-dives through words into realms of spirituality, vulnerable self-discovery, self-awareness, personal development, empowerment, and mental wellness..